I ♥ Hello Kitty

♥ Monday, November 09, 2009

I ♥ Hello Kitty

Wah, today lesson end damn early. suppose to end at 5pm de, in the end guess we end wat time? 2plus.. haha. teacher last min got something on so lesson cancelled. sia la. we go sch only mark attendance and eat. waste my time sio.. wake up so early.. haha. ok, enough of that (: after sch went tampines to pei huiling buy flower for her friend's mum and pp came along with us too^^ and suddenly i thought of dear booking in tonight so in the end wanted to get something for him. i remembered that he say during free time he nth to do so eat abit of tibits.. but he always eat soh da piah then he say everytime eat that one sian so i went NTUC to get some other tibits for him. haha. i got oreo and potato chips for him.. hehe. then i went home, bath le then went to his house to pass him the tibits. Silly boy, so happy. haha. anyway, i'm always happy when i see him smiling ^^ after that pei him for awhile then he got to prepare to book in liao so he changed to his army clothes.. haha. we were like saying his uniform like vegetable.. so greenish.. haha!! around 6.45pm bi's dad fetch me back to pasir ris then send bi to ferry terminal to go back tekong. He looked so sian.. haha. yea.. sat then can see him again.. (: yea, going to watch tv liao.. haha. will update again! ^^

Been Here @ 4:00 AM

♥ Sunday, November 08, 2009

I ♥ Hello Kitty

Hello ppl! haha, its been a while since i last blog.. hehe.. sorry ah.. have been busy recently ^^
Anyway i'm in sch now blogging.. haha. aiyah, lesson too boring so cannot blame me =P
Yea, alot of things happened this month, OMG, seriously alot and i am super stress! but hopefully everything is alright now =)I had a fun weekend with my bf. was super tired. we went www in the morning, then i got to rush to meet hilda they all for KTV at chinatown, then after that rush down to tampines for a concert, then took cab home get something and headed down to vivo. then went clubbing at night until 5plus in the morning then we to eat mac breakfast. ^^ after that went to his house to watch movie.. (: was tired but at the same time fun =)

hmm, today he going to book in liao. so it means that i will see him again on sat.. hehe. its ok cuz i know he's in camp, i'll wait ^^ haha.. wah, lesson damn boring sia!! haha. i not interested.. but well, still got to force myself to listen cuz i want to score well for my parents!! haha. so, bye bye, going to study liao! ^^

Been Here @ 7:35 PM

♥ Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I ♥ Hello Kitty

Went for appointment alone today. Got weighed and weight went up more than 2kg. Was super down at first. but when i went home and tell them the results, they were very happy, i felt better. at least i gained weight will make them happy. but at the same time, i'm scared. i really am. i dont how to tell my doctors that i'm scared. i dont want to get admitted again. just keep it to myself lor. after appointment, i was crying while walking to take MRT. when i needed someone badly, no one was beside me. sometimes i really hope someone will go appointment with me cuz if i gained too much weight, at least i can cry on his/her shoulder. Today i was crying alone. and it was raining. i went to the rain and got myself wet. i want to wake myself up. i couldnt stop thinking what will happen to me if my weight keep going up. i dont want to be a fat and ugly jocelyn. =(
While i was crying, 3 ppl msg me telling me their problems. i got to console them, encourage them, help them. my hand cannot stop replying their msg cuz got 3 person. i was wondering to myself, when others need help, they would come to me. when i need help, nobody was there for me. i have to keep everything to myself. i feel like telling them to stop smsing me cuz i got my own problems too and helllo, i'm crying while replying them. i dont know what to do. i was super upset. but no choice, after smsing them for abt 1hr, they felt better. so they thank me and finally my hand stop typing. and now my turn, i was walking around shopping mall at pasir ris crying. got the urged to do something stupid to myself, but i dont want to see my parents sad again. so i went home. when reached home, i've to act happy to tell them: YAY! MUMMY! DADDY! I GAINED WEIGHT! ^^ you all no need worry so much for me le.. ^^
well, that was the outer part of me. after telling them, i rushed back to my room lock the door and start pinching myself. i was so lost. i really someone could be by side now to give me a big warmth hug. =(

Been Here @ 5:31 AM

♥ Saturday, September 12, 2009

I ♥ Hello Kitty

Suddenly feel like updating so here i come! =) now quite scared cuz my sis and mum went to my ah yee's house. left me alone at home. dont feel like going out today. just feel like staying at home cuz its raining. ^^

Anyway, on friday i went out with my aunty. she treat me dinner and even buy alot of snacks for me. she bought alot of chocolates cuz she know i love chocolates =) yea, then on sat went out with my mum and sis. its been quite long since i went out with them cuz for the past few months was quite busy with school. i did enjoy going out with my mother bear! i love my mother bear! i love my father bear! ^^ they are the best parents!! haha. yea. had lunch and dinner with them and i was so happy. my mother bear ordered my favorite dishes and each a cup =)but i couldnt finish so i shared with my sister. hehehe..

So long didnt meet my hilda darling le. i remembered we go out almost everyday to go crazy together. haha. she's full of crap la.. always make me laugh like hell. haha. darling, must faster meet up ok? miss you so much!! and oh, i made a new guy friend few weeks ago by tracy. haha. He's quite fun and nice! ^^ full of jokes also.. hehe. Atually my dad brining me to see my grandma in malaysia next week but dont know why postponed le. so sad. i miss my grandma. she dote on me alot. when she knew i'm in hospital, she was so worried and called my dad almost everyday to ask how am i. really feel like seeing her and give her a hug and let her see how well am i and i put on weight so she no need to worry so much. =) yea. never mind, but hopefully can get to see her soon as her health is not very good now.. =)

now i'm eating chocolates. haha. nothing to do leh. nobody at home so i can eat chocolates without my mother bear's nagging. HEHEHEHE!! alright! nth to write le. haha. going to bathe le. BYE BYE!! :)

Been Here @ 11:07 PM

♥ Friday, September 04, 2009

I ♥ Hello Kitty

Finally updated (:

These few days have been quite busy cuz of exams coming up this week. my class advisor told me i only managed to get a high B for the past few months since i started school. He says if i want to get a A, i must work hard if not my grades will drop again. and i dont want to disppoint my parents so i must score a A for them! jocelyn jiayou!

Anyway, have not been contacting my friends recently. one of the reason is cuz of exams, another reason is because i put on alot weight, so dont dare to face them. its like seriously, ALOT of ppl say i look fatter. =( i'm so upset. i wanted to control myself but i just couldnt. Thursday i had a appoinment with my dietician. i got weighed and it increased so much! i got a shocked! she even asked me how come i gained so much without drinking the milk they gave me. i said i binged alot. i binged on all the fattening food! she said i must be too stressed that's why i binged. after seeing her, i made my payment and i rushed out of SGH. i cried straight after i ran out. i felt so lost. dont know what to do. weight went up may be a good thing to other ppl cuz this means that i'm recovering. but to me, this is too much. i cant accept it. alot of ppl told me that this is a good thing. ya, i know. but, i'm a girl right? which girl likes their weight to go up every week? now ppl are trying to slim down, me? have to gain weight if not i will get admitted again. sometimes i feel that my life is all abt eating and gaining weight. i hate it! i want to maintain my weight like other ppl do, but i cant!! i have to gain! i'm facing this problems for a few days already and there's totally nobody i can talk to. even i talk to someone, they wouldnt know how am i feeling unless that person is facing the same problem as me. seriously, i miss poh choo. only she tries her best to help me. she will come down tampines all the way from clementi just to see that i'm fine. but now i didnt dare to face her cuz i really put on alot of weight. i scared i see her already, one week later, you will see a different me. or worse, see me in hospital again. i'm suffering now! i really want to die!! living in this world is meaningless for me!

Been Here @ 10:13 PM

♥ Friday, August 28, 2009

I ♥ Hello Kitty

These few days had been eating alot! i really hate it but i just couldnt control!! i can eat one loaf of bread with peanut butter and cookies just for breakfast! after that, i had a pack of chocolates! lunch i had cai fan or chicken rice, then after that, i had breadtalk buns, chocolates and potato chips. dinner had rice again, supper even worse. dont know how many years never eat like that lor. seriously i got to control le.. if this continues, i dont know what i will become. =( JOCELYN IS SUPER SAD NOW!! SUPER DEPRESSED AND SCARED NOW! AHHH!!!!

Been Here @ 10:13 PM

♥ Thursday, August 27, 2009

I ♥ Hello Kitty

JOCELYN HATES HERSELF!! ONLY POH CHOO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED!!

Where are my darlings? i need them badly now =(

Been Here @ 6:40 PM